Ephesians 4:29-5:2 – “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. 

5:1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”  NKJV

I believe that one of the key sources or roots for a person developing a Victim Mentality is BITTERNESS.  Many harbor resentment do deeply that it dominates their lives.  The question is why do we replay the hurt over and over in our minds reliving the old wounds?  It is because we go back to The Lie, “you shall be as God.”

What does God do?  He is in control.  Therefore, if we believe that we are like God then we envision ourselves as being in control.  If we are in control then we are in charge of the punishment to be meted out to the ones who hurt us.  They can never be set free because we are determined to eventually make them hurt like they hurt us or maybe even more.

We lock the door to our lives and then attempt to influence as many others to lock the offender out as well.  In fact, it can escalate to the point that we want them eradicated from the human race declaring them that despicable.  WHY?  We have become a Victim.  If they had not said or done what they did I would not be an addict, alcoholic, abandoned, economically or socially deficient.  It was or is their fault!  Because of them I have been living in Hell and now I’m going to send them there as well.  The pain is real and incredible for the Victim.

If I could somehow get everyone to realize that no human being can make them do anything they could be free.  It is a choice.  He or she makes me so mad!  No, we choose to become angry.  But, you are a Victim because you were injured.  They did it to me so do not ask me to forgive them THEY ARE WRONG!  The victim chooses to remember and by holding on to it he/she believes they can guarantee it will never happen again.  The wall is erected and the list of offenders denied access grows almost daily.

Some never forgive because they do not understand forgiveness.  They think if they forgive the offender they will be hurt again and become a doormat.  But what is forgiveness?  It is not calling a truce, admitting defeat, letting evil win or saying let’s just forget it.  Have you ever had someone who hurt you come and apologize and you say, “Oh, it was nothing”?  That is not the truth and you know it!  IT HURT and was far more than nothing!  Some have the mistaken idea that if they do not admit it hurt it doesn’t exist but if you will not or cannot admit the pain you cannot forgive.

Forgiveness is never condoning.  We are often told we must forgive but rarely are we told how to forgive.  We are told the why behind forgiveness but not the how.  We hear that we must forgive because Christ has forgiven us and if we do not forgive we will not be forgiven.  True, but how do we forgive?  In a great sense we consciously and determined ‘release the offender.’

What does God do?  He takes the initiative and comes to us.  The one that we sinned against comes and takes our place.  He chooses to bear all our guilt, grief and sorrow.  He pays our debt with His own blood.  Then He rises from the dead and extends a full pardon to us.  We are Free!  Remember the workers hired at different times of the day?  As the owner of the vineyard began to hand out the pay he began with those who worked least and paid them but as he worked through to those who had worked all day he paid the same wage and they were irate.  Not fair was the cry!  Exactly, Life is not fair and we should be glad God is not focused on fairness but mercy, for if He were we would have something quite other than salvation and pardon.

What do we do?  We REPENT.  We surrender and receive His grace.  There is no discussion of the past.  The key is that we are to forgive “just as” God has forgiven us.  We must BE that which He has made us.  Be kind.  Be tenderhearted. Be forgiving.  Be someone who dishes out grace.  It changes the entire attitude and moves us from being victims to victors.  Therefore, you take BITTERNESS and get rid of it.  You banish it from your life.  You hold it up to the light of God’s Grace and begin learning a lifestyle of forgiveness.  You will repeat it over and over again for a long time, most likely.  It will become who you are and then your actions and attitude will reflect His Forgiveness and become Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not divine amnesia and we forgive by faith!  We choose to not lay their sin to their charge and release them.   May the Lord be with you guarding and guiding you through this day!

Colossians 1:13-14 – “For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”  NASU

We sing about being part of the REDEEMED and that we are SOJOURNERS just passing through and that is good.  However I want to highlight something for consideration regarding our status in this world and the one to come.

The work of Christ in His birth, life, death, resurrection and ascension affords something wonderful.  The King James Version says He “delivered” us from the devil’s power.  The Amplified refers to it as “delivered” from the devil’s control and the New American Standard identifies that we have been “rescued” from the Domain or Kingdom of Darkness.  All basically say the same thing but let’s take this idea or revelation and examine it briefly.

If we have been delivered or rescued from the devil’s kingdom (where we were citizens) and his power (where he manipulated us) and have been transferred into the Kingdom of God that is worthy of note.  In that single act of our LORD we have seen our status change from ‘refugee’ to ‘citizen’ of a different realm or kingdom.

In the natural, if our citizenship changes we are under the laws and governance of the new country of which we are citizens.  We have backing us the entire might of our new country and rather than holding refugee status we hold citizenship.  We may be sojourners in this present world but our citizenship is of that Eternal World of the Kingdom of God.  The title ‘god of this world’ the devil held has been rendered, null and void by the Finished Work of Jesus on the Cross and His Resurrection from the Dead.  We are here not as refugees fleeing the tyranny of the devil but as ambassadors of our new country or kingdom.

The authority through which Jesus operates is extended to us as citizens of that new kingdom and through His authority we have power and authority over all power and authority of the former ‘god of this world’.  Jesus redeemed or ‘bought back’ that which was lost and whether we accept His grace or reject it we no longer belong to the devil but to God.  Unless we accept His grace we will perish and by that act of rejection we ‘give place to the devil’ and in so doing place ourselves within his grasp.

Too many in the Body of Christ live as refugees in this present world trying to escape the devil and longing for the heavenly cavalry to arrive and rescue us.  That places us in a subordinate position rendering us powerless against the power of darkness for we fail to understand or appropriate the position afford us through Grace.  If we can understand that we have a LEGAL VICTORY in Jesus to exercise dominion and authority in this earth over all the power of the enemy we will find our lives transformed drastically.

We need to learn to enforce the Victory of Calvary and appropriate the Promises of God in this present world.  We are not refugees we are citizens of the Kingdom of God.  We are heirs of God and joint-heirs with Jesus.  We have been given power over all the power of the enemy and our weapons are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.  We are more than conquerors through Jesus so let’s live like citizens not refugees.

            God bless as you go through this day!

John 12:4-9 – “But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, 5 “Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” 6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it.  7 But Jesus said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial.  8 For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.”   NKJV

I recall years ago hearing Billy Graham say that God told him to “Not touch the money”.  He was talking about integrity and how money has corrupted too many men who began right in the pursuit of the purposes of God.  I have observed in my decades on this terrestrial ball that MONEY and POWER are two of the most deadly elements man faces in any area of life.  There are other things that are destructive but those two are in the top tier to be guarded against their negative influence.

Do not understand me to say that MONEY in itself is evil for that is not what Jesus declared but rather THE LOVE OF IT is where the root of evil resides.  POWER is not bad in itself but if allowed to whet the appetite for control over others it becomes deadly spiritually, socially and politically.  The writer of Ecclesiastes declared, “He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity.”  (5:10).

The Bible tells us that where the treasure is the heart is there also.  If MONEY and POWER become so valuable they become dominant objects we pursue they will become corruptions in our character.  I firmly believe that God wants his servants well taken care of.  I also know that there is a lurking danger of allowing the appetite for the lifestyle of the “Rich and Famous” to override our heart of charity and understanding of the purpose of both MONEY and positions of POWER.

I have been told more than once that as a preacher I should keep only a minimal amount of my money and give the rest to the poor.  I have been attacked when the congregation I was leading spend money on the facilities that we were to keep everything minimal and the rest should go to the poor.  Jesus addressed that, in a sense, when Judas displayed disgust over the act of worship and extravagance when Mary took costly oil and wiped the feet and hair of our Lord.  Jesus considered what she had done an act of worship and faith and it is clear from the passage that Judas cared less about the poor than the money.  Jesus said, “…the poor you have with you always…” 

I personally do not believe that our places of worship or our lifestyles should be so extravagant they repulse and demonstrate a lack of awareness and concern for the plight of those around us.  It would be difficult for me to adopt a lifestyle of living in the lap of luxury when I see so many needs presenting themselves daily.  I preached along this line once and was told that I had a ‘spirit of poverty’.  I prayed about that and the Holy Spirit assured me that was not true.  My desire to bless others, have my needs supplied, live comfortably and maintain a tender heart overrides any appeal that lavish wealth affords brings joy to my heart.  I want the Power of the Resurrection in my life to combat the forces of hell and the wealth of the wicked in my hands to advance the purposes of God.

            God bless you as you go through this day!

Exodus 12:12-13 – “For I will pass through the land of Egypt on that night, and will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I am the LORD. 13 Now the blood shall be a sign for you on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you; and the plague shall not be on you to destroy you when I strike the land of Egypt.”  NKJV

As God prepared Israel for their deliverance from Egyptian bondage the one thing they had to do to be spared was take the “blood of the sacrificial lamb” and place it on the doorposts of their houses.  When the destroying angel came into the land and saw the BLOOD the inhabitants would be spared otherwise DEATH would be the result.

This was symbolic and pointed to the time when Christ, our sacrificial lamb, would offer up His innocent blood on the Cross for the sin of mankind.  In our reception of His sacrifice and grace the Holy Spirit applies the Blood of the Lamb to our hearts and we are spared from the plague of sin.  Only by the blood are we spared!  It is not works, not earned, not deserved it is “by grace, through faith” that we enter into the family and kingdom of God.   NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD!

The old gospel song says it perfectly:

“What can wash away my sin?   Nothing but the blood of Jesus;  What can make me whole again?                  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.   Oh! Precious is the flow   That makes me white as snow;                              No other fount I know,   Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

             The prophet Isaiah penned it perfectly in Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.   If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword.”

Some in today’s PC world do not like the mention of THE BLOOD for they consider it too vile for polite society and seek to eliminate it from the religious conversation.  What they fail to understand is that salvation’s door is opened ONLY BY THE BLOOD.  Without the shedding of blood there is no remission as declared Paul in Hebrews 9:22.  Cleansing is not possible without the Blood of Christ shed for sin.  He paid the divine penalty and through His sacrifice we have HOPE and LIFE!

What can wash away my sin?  NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS!   So today, if you have not received Him I urge you to listen to the nudging of the Holy Spirit and allow God to apply the blood of Jesus to the doorposts of your heart.

            God bless!

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 – “And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves.”  NKJV

I have come to believe that respect is earned not demanded.  I hear people say, “Don’t disrespect me” as though they had an inherent right to be respected regardless of their disrespectful attitude or actions.  I believe that everyone’s rights should be respected but not everyone is deserving of respect.  That statement may cause some difficulty but an unruly child that rebels is not deserving of respect.  A parent that berates their children, is unfaithful to the marriage and family and fails to provide is not deserving of respect.  Their position is they are not.

When I acknowledged God’s call to the ministry and assumed my first assignment as pastor of a small rural congregation I assumed that everyone would respect me because of the call of God.  Unfortunately, that utopian vision of the ministry was short-lived and I found that the desire for power among some does not include healthy respectfulness.  We are commanded in Scripture to ‘respect’ spiritual leaders because of the WORK.  Most who have served as pastor have heard, “What do you do all day?  Why do you need a day off?  It must be nice to have a job where you just read the Bible and pray all day.” 

Hebrews 13:17 instructs us to OBEY those who rule over us and be SUBMISSIVE.  Why?  They watch for our souls and God holds them accountable for our condition and development.   I have participated in meetings where the leader would present ideas and on one occasion where the majority did not agree they stated:  “We do not agree but if you believe this is best and is in the best interest of all involved we will support you as the leader.”  They were not being obsequious for some were quite strong-willed individuals but they were deferring to their leader because of their respect for his position and person.

HOW DO YOU EARN GENUINE RESPECT?

• Show Yourself Worthy.

One minister said, “I cannot stand in the pulpit and command the congregation to respect me.  It is earned by demeanor, by love and by character.”  I believe that character and integrity are foundational in respect.  That means we have to be attentive to small things and strive to be above reproach at all times and in all things. 

• Respect Ourselves. 

People truly do take their cues about respecting a leader from the leader him or herself.  My attitude is that in myself I am nothing but I can do all things through God who strengthens me and if God called me He is or has prepared me.  Therefore, my confidence is in God.  Without tooting your own horn it is sometimes necessary to let people know what God has done through you.  

• Respect Others.

Respecting others for a pastor or anyone means learning what their needs are and working diligently to address them.  Likewise how you handle partiality is a reflection on your respect for others. 

• Confront Disrespectful Actions.

Remember Paul’s counsel to Titus, “Let no one despise you.”  I have found that if you overlook or ignore disrespect it will be repeated and usually more prolific than before.  I am talking about things that are genuinely disrespectful.  I have experienced someone seeking to demean and disallow my authority, corrupt my reputation and undermine my responsibility in order to gain power.  I did not let those go without notice and each one was handled differently as the Holy Spirit directed.  I tried to be kind, gentle, loving but firm enough that it would be understood that behavior which had the potential of disrupting the church could not be tolerated.  

I prefer to approach disrespect with a servant heart and the spirit of meekness toward the disrespectful person.  So, I tolerate it for a time and once I have proved their spirit and it continues I can then demonstrate mine and on that strength I can confront whatever is necessary with God’s authority behind me.

As with having friends we must be friendly to gain respect we must be respectful.  Respect is earned!    God bless you as you go through your day!

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3, 5 – “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 

3 … A time to break down, And a time to build up; …5 …A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.”  NKJV

A number of years ago I heard the story of the twelve-year old boy who appeared to be unable to talk.  After his mother served him oatmeal three days in a row he said, “Yuck, I hate oatmeal.”  His mother became hysterical and ran to him shouting, “You can talk!  You can talk!  For twelve years you have not said a word and today you spoke.  Why have you never spoken before?”  He looked at her and said, “Up until now, everything’s been okay.”

Sadly, that is how we do things too often.  It is especially true in many churches with regard to their pastors as long as everything is okay nothing is said but let something go wrong and you hear the booing and complaining.  I know some pastors who are incredibly effective in their efforts for the local body and the kingdom of God but feel like abject failures.  One very wise minister explained it this way:  “We are victims of a system that is too high in expectations and too low in rewards.” 

Some people assume that the minister’s self-image is indestructible.  They expect the man of God to be filled with energy and fresh ideas but fail to give affirmation which is the emotional fuel we all need.  This is true with our children, spouses, employees, etc.  Everyone needs to receive personal affirmation from time to time when things are good not just criticism constructive or destructive when things are not.  In saying this I do not mean to imply that church members are cold and calloused but rather often unaware of the needs of the man behind the sacred desk who carries the mantel of pastor.

           I do not know any Omnicompetent Pastors but I know many flawed vessels who ascribe to that high calling and devote their lives to service.  I read a description of “The Perfect Pastor” and I honestly do not know who originally wrote it but it goes like this:

“What is the perfect pastor?  He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years.  He is tall, short, thin, heavyset, handsome and homely; he has one brown eye and one blue; hair parted in the middle, left side dark and straight and the right side brown and wavy.  He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all his time with older folks.  He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously at his work.  He makes 15 calls a day to church members, spends all his time evangelizing the unchurched and is never out of the office.”

             There are myths in the minds of some regarding the labors of the pastor and as I had a person say to me once, “It must be nice to have a job where you only work one day per week.”  He had no idea what my week consisted of and how many hours I spent praying, preparing, visiting, planning, meeting, etc. He saw me once per week (that’s all he came) and to him that was the sum total of what I did.

I have a friend who heard similar statements and he invited the individual to spend the day with him.  On that particular occasion there were five emergencies that the pastor was called to and then the regular schedule of the day to be addressed so when they concluded their day at 10:30 PM that evening the man was stunned.  He said, “I had no idea!”  I make no defense of a pastor who is lazy but I want to sing the praise of those individuals who devote their lives, expend their energies tirelessly for the service of God.  They deserve our affirmation even when nothing is out of the ordinary and all is going well.  Let them hear you in good times not just in times of difficulty.  Translate that to your families and work as well.

            God bless you as you go through this day!