Proverbs 21:19 – “It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.” NASB

Proverbs 27:15-17 – “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; 16 He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand. 17 Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  NASB

Ladies I am not trying to pick on you here as you will hopefully see.  The Wisdom of Solomon shines forth in these passages about relationships and can be or should be viewed in light of what Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:25-33.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” NASB

First, if the husband loves his wife in the manner and to the degree that Paul described, I would not be afraid to say that she will not be as Solomon described her.  If she is then heed Solomon’s words and take to heart the old saying, “If Momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.”  But if you notice Solomon added in verse 17 “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” 

He said that as he was talking about a contentious woman. Therefore, was he talking about men with men, or was he talking about the husband-wife relationship?  Frankly, I believe it applies to both.  It is incumbent upon both parties in a loving relationship to care for the other. 

If we husbands love our wives as Christ loves the Church, then the wife can and should feel completely comfortable with recognizing our position in the family and responding with loving support.  Adam and Eve were created and placed in the Garden of Eden as co-regents of the planet.  They were a pair, a team, or as Genesis declared ONE FLESH but two separate people.

Wives if you are guilty of being contentious, nagging, and complaining STOP IT!  Husbands, if you are not loving your wives as Christ loved the church BEGIN IMMEDIATELY!  Before anyone protests, remember it begins with a CHOICE!  You have to choose to love, choose to be loving, choose to not be contentious, and choose to be godly in your relationships.  It is your choice!  If you make that choice God will respond by providing you with the help, encouragement, and guidance that will make it possible.

Attention, men!  If you are in a relationship where the wife is contentious before you condemn and criticize ask yourself if you are “Loving her as Christ loved and loves the church”?  But above all make your relationship a matter of serious prayer and soul searching.  It is too precious to you and God to just allow you to stumble along from day to day.

God bless you as you go through your day!