John 21:15-17 – “Then when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these do?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus told him, “Feed my lambs.” ¹⁶ Jesus said a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus told him, “Shepherd my sheep.” ¹⁷ Jesus said a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that Jesus asked him a third time, “Do you love me?” and said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Jesus replied, “Feed my sheep.

As I prayed, read, and pondered the Word of God today, the exchange between Jesus and Peter in John 21 filled my thoughts.   I wonder how Peter felt when Jesus asked him basically the same question three times.  I thought about the times the Holy Spirit has brought the same thought or question to my heart and my responses to it.

Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” (John 21:15–17). As I reflect on the manner in which Jesus dealt with people, I realize that He was laying a foundation for life. He was reminding Peter of his own inadequacy and the need to have the adequacy of Jesus filling his heart and mind daily.

By asking Peter, “Do you love me?” three times, Jesus emphasized the importance of Peter’s love and unswerving obedience to his Lord as necessary for Peter’s future ministry.

Jesus asked Peter about His love for Him, and each time Peter answered affirmatively.  Jesus did not simply ask a question and let it go; He added instructions for life and ministry that flowed from Love! I believe that Jesus was revealing to Peter and to us that “if” we truly love Jesus, we will desire to care for His followers.

It is possible that by His repeated question, Jesus was subtly reminding Peter of his three denials.  Peter’s confidence had to be at an all-time low after his failure! I am convinced that Peter wondered if the LORD asking him three times was a reminder of his failure. After the third question, Peter was totally emptied of all self-confidence. It was there that Jesus could renew and restore him.

There is also an interesting contrast when you look at the Greek words for “love” used in John 21:15–17.  When Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” in John 21:15–16, He used the Greek word agape, which refers to unconditional love. Both times, Peter responded with “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you,” using the Greek word Philéo, which refers more to a brotherly/friendship type of love.

I believe that Jesus was trying to get Peter to understand that he must love Jesus unconditionally in order to fulfill his purpose and live the Christian life. The third time Jesus asks, “Do you love me?” in John 21:17, He used the word Philéo, and Peter again responds with “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you,” again using Philéo. The point in the different Greek words for “love” seems to be that Jesus was stretching Peter to move him from Philéo love to agape love.

Whatever the reason for the three-fold “do you love me?” question, Jesus was impressing on Peter how important his new role of tending the flock of Christ’s followers would be. When someone repeats instructions to us over and over, we quickly understand that it’s extremely important for us to heed them. Jesus wanted to make sure Peter understood this vital charge He was giving him and the ultimate reason for it: to follow Him and glorify God (John 21:19).

The question for us is, “Do we Agape or Phileo Jesus?”   If we Phileo Him, we will be in danger of crumbling in trouble, but if we Agape Him, nothing can move us because we have Him in us, with us, and living through us. We know (yada) Him and have become One with Him, and in that condition of being one with Him, we draw from His strength.

If we Agape Jesus, we will Agape His followers too! If we Agape others, we will not seek to expose, harm, or destroy them, but see them restored, renewed, and regenerated. We will be willing to die for them, even when we disagree with them. We will empty ourselves of self and fill our hearts with Him!

Do you Agape Me? That is the question I hear the Holy Spirit asking. If you Agape Me, then why? Why? Why are we not showing it consistently, and why do we let other people get under our skin? Why not give them to Jesus and love them in intercession?    Do You Love Me? God loves you, and so do I!

Lord, help us to love You and love others as You love them!