Matthew 18:15-20 – “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.  16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’  17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

18 “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.  20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”  NKJV

 

I know a man who describes his way of handling conflicts and insists it is biblical.  He cites the passage in Luke 6 and says, “The Bible tells me if someone hits me on one cheek I am to turn the other and if they hit me on that one then I can knock them into kingdom come.”  When asked where the Bible said that he always responds, “Well it doesn’t say not do it!  It only tells me to let them hit me on both cheeks.”   He is right and he is wrong!  It did not say not to do it specifically but it does teach, in principle, that violence is not the solution.

In this passage our Lord specifically deals with handling conflicts between believers and although the principles can apply to everyone it is specifically speaking to those in the Body of Christ.  It is a method that most fail to follow and some would find absolutely unacceptable as a method of operation.  It is not a complicated process but a most difficult one to honestly follow in spirit and practice.  It is not a directive to become doormats or open yourself to abuse but a prescription to resolving conflicts and restore peace.

• If your BROTHER sins against you.

That is a clear identification as to whom those in conflict are.  We are not talking about difficulties with those outside the faith but those within.  IF or WHEN a brother or sister does something to hurt, offend, wound or harm you the door is open for a rift in the relationship and a division in the Body of Christ.  Therefore, when this happens…

• Go tell him or her what they have done.

Do not go in anger or self-righteousness but honestly go with a heart for restoration and honestly tell them your perspective of the situation.  IF they will hear you and your heart you have resolved the conflict before it festers into an open wound that brings pain and suffering to others.  This is to be private and confidential.  It is not to be a Facebook, Social Media, Twitter war but PRIVATE with restoration as the objective.

• If he or she rejects your appeal take or two reputable Christians with you.

DO NOT take someone who will be viewed as your shills.  Take someone of good report, well respected and of good reputation.  Take someone known for their objectivity and honesty.  Take someone that will not automatically rubber stamp your observations but can objectively hear both sides of the issue.  That will go a long way to resolving the matter.

• If that is rejected then and only then do you MAKE IT PUBLIC.

That can only become a reality if the Local Body (Church) understands and operates in biblical principles of conflict resolution.  It CANNOT become a popularity contest for that will only further divide.

You may be right but you will be wrong if you fail to follow the biblical guidelines for handling conflict.  If your objective is anything other than restoration it will fail for it is out of a wrong motive.  Then, apply the next verses to CONFLICT RESOLUTION and they will take a completely different meaning than the traditional usage of most Christians.  Binding and loosing, as mentioned here is in direct reference to resolving conflicts and God backs up right!  Agreement, as used here is in direct reference to CONFLICT RESOLUTION and brings power to our prayers especially when their objective is restoration.  God IS THERE in the middle of the conflict, not taking sides but observing the process.

            God bless you as you move forward in your Christian walk!